Drowning in the thoughts that had nothing else to do but hide,

I keep going back to that time,

as the memory fades and the lines begin to blur,

would speaking about it be a lie?

Would the distorted version of you be more merciful?

Or would this reminiscence paint you as you really are?

Only then, what if the words that finally leave my mouth,

taste like grown resentment,

Would you taste its rot as their echo reaches your soul?

Would i lose any sense of control?

As i let the words flow?

Tell me.

Before i set them free.

Is it terrifying to let others see me?

See what you created out of me.

A filament of dishonesty,

I roam the earth in a hazy fog,

Swish swish - liquifies the enemy.

Time has come and it will come again

But my hands lay bare,

Diluted from my mother's blood,

I would tell you the truth, I have nothing to spare.

In a fever steamed room I was consumed,

Then forged again in a canopy of lies.

Now. In bed I turn like a worm on watered down soil.

The paper wall's peeling, screaming and vomiting forgotten memories under my nails.

Stained retina with whiskey lemon eyes - yes, I am damned but I am not blind.

Rotting doesn't stop just because you feel sorry,

And the angels won't cry just because you were named Mary.

The cosmos speaks to me,

Through vibrations at my feet,

It whispers of your wretched soul,

Bound to feel nothing more